a message from my kin.

i received this email from a member of my family that i'm choosing to keep anonymous. i wasn't going to blog this because i didn't want to call this person out on their asshattedness, but it's just too brilliant to not share*:

"Honey, I recently found your blog online and just had to tell you that it makes me so happy to see you've found someone like [the jew]. You don't know how long we've waited for you to find someone that we can be proud of you being with. She seems successful ( I googled her) and very attractive as well. After all the pain and suffering we've been through with you being a lesbian this makes it worth while. We can finally say we're proud of you. This eleveates (sic) so much of the hurt that [we] have gone through because of you. You don't understand what you're string of random women in your life has done to [us] and the way people treat [us] because of it. [the jew] seems like a beautiful person that loves you very much. I am so excited to meet her someday. I'm hoping that ... I will be able to visit. Don't screw it up with her in the meantime. Try to hold onto this one. You two seem like a perfect match and it's not often you meet someone that will put up with you, [uses my full name!]. Take care. Love, [name omitted]"

brilliant, right? the first thing i do is IM the thing to the jew.:

the jew: That's fantastic!

the gypsy: dude, [they] fucking googled you... that's brilliant

the jew: hmm
the jew: i'll leave town when [they] plan on coming;-)

the gypsy: then you better pack me along with you, jackass.

so it's settled, i'm related to crazy people and if they come to visit we're leaving them with the ruskie. she can handle them, i'm sure.

*parts of the email have been cut/slightly altered to protect the identity of the writer.