Sunday, April 13, 2008

is this considered animal abuse?

the jew is off at some conference thing. we don't know what it's for. but she's gone for 3 days.

in her absence, the ruskie begins this dialog with the dog:
"did [the jew] leave you?...yes she did....she left you cause she doesn't love you anymore. she left you FOREVER. she didn't take you to her jew conference cause she doesn't love you..."

"dude, are you stockholm syndroming my dog?"
"yeah, he's going to start robbing banks with ak-47s and shit...cause [the jew] left him and doesn't love him anymore."

to which he raises his eyebrows, lowers his eyes in a sad puppy way, and gives "puppy ears" (the jews most favorite thing ever). he then starts crying.

"it's okay to cry cause she left you. cause she doesn't love you anymore. she left you FOREVER."

to which he starts crying louder. a low sad moaning cry. his jew is gone and doesn't love him anymore.

so, of course, i text the jew and tell her the "convo" between the dog and the ruskie.

"that's just totally mean."
"he's all mopey now. [the ruskie] is stockholm syndroming him in your absence."
"i'll get her back."
"i dunno...she's being very convincing. i may bond wtih her too in your absence and then you'll be forced to sit at the table every night and listen to us and the dog be overly familial."
"wow. i leave for 2 hours and this is what i get?"
" 'uh, yeah' from [the ruskie]. ;) from me. dude, [the ruskie] could never handle being as close as we are. duh."

that's totally true. but seriously? poor dog looks like he's lost his best friend.

ETA:
before the ruskie went to bed tonight she stood in the doorway of the hall very much the way the jew does while saying goodnight to tucker.

"she doesn't love you, remember. if she loved you she'd be here. but no, she's at the mayflower hotel. where you're not allowed...because you're black. spitzer can bring his call girls in but she can't bring you? i'm just sayin...."

and then he promptly gave her really sad eyes, sighed, whimpered a little, and curled up under the pillow. poor thing.

the aspca better not raid this house for the dog because of the ruskie. i'm just sayin...

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