Monday, June 30, 2008

today was a good day.

today is my 26th birthday. after an amazing weekend i was very reluctant to go to work. and with good reason. it sucked. but the rest of my day totally made up for it. i got to eat ice cream on the georgetown water front & feed ducks. then it rained! ON MY BIRTHDAY! (most wanted thing as a child.)

then! the ruskie & the jew took me out to dinner. creepy waiter aside, it was a lot of fun.

however! nothing today could be the highlight of my day...tucker going batshit insane over water & ice cubes (no, seriously). the jew & i couldn't stop laughing. it continued for approx 15 minutes before tucker stopped. i think he got bored before we did. pictures/video to come.

in short: today=birthday. today=awesome. birthday=awesome. gypsy=thankful.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

parting is such sweet sorrow...

the ruskie has officially moved out. tucker doesn't seem to be too affected. the kitchen table, however, is morning its loss and may never fully recover.

(miss you ruskie. and not only because you now have a wii)

Thursday, June 26, 2008

guilt trip 1.0

so when we had our doggy social worker visit, the jew mispronounced one of the potential puppy's names. we mentioned that we like to take tucker everywhere with us (including for car rides). we mentioned that training, strict training, was a must. and, clearly, there were no men in our house....

from zoe's personal update:

" Hi this is Zoe- pronounced Zo-eee like Zoey 101. I've been hanging out at the kennel for a few months just chillin' . Because I have been such a "fraidy cat" in the past, the wonderful folks at MAGSR thought it was best for me to interact with a lot of different caring volunteers so I could build my confidence and learn to channel my fears appropriately. Everyone tells me I'm doing great! My tummy gets upset in the car so I like to hang out close to home. I'm really quite the "homebody" so guess what I'm missing- a home to call my own! In the past I've played very well with other young dogs so if you have a dog, that should be great! I especially like human ladies so I don't mind if I go to a home without a live-in dad. I have to promise to go to strict training with my new owner to make sure I continue to build confidence around strangers. I'm such a Love Bug I promise to be your very best friend if you decide to choose me. So how about it, are you that special person that will love me fur-ever? When you apply to MAGSR, make sure you list me as a must-see puppy!"


it is what it is and hopefully will always be.

the jew is home. it's kinda weird, but mostly not. in that way that everything about us is weird but mostly not. i think we're so used to telling each other everything, that being apart for 10 days was definitely a change for us. and, it seems like our lives have changed drastically in the last couple weeks. but, the one thing that hasn't, and hopefully never will, change is that no matter where we are, who we're with, what we're doing...we still are each others person. i couldn't be more thankful if i tried.

in short: i'm glad you're home, jew.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

mail order bride's looking pretty good about now..

the jew comes home in 2 days. as such, i have to get off my ass and make the house some type of decent. this includes mowing the lawn and bathing the dog. sweeping and vacuuming would probably be a good idea. someone should definitely do the dishes at some point as well.

seriously, i know i really wanted the jew back from israel, but it seems like such a chore now ;)

Thursday, June 19, 2008

no one compares 2 u.

so i'm dating this new girl. she came over for the first time today. tucker fell in love. harder than he fell for the jew, i think. you be the judge:

but, just when i thought maybe, just maybe, tucker would be okay without his jew, i moved her vehicle to allow the ruskie to park in the driveway. i double clicked the car alarm. tucker went crazy! HIS JEW WAS HOME! or so he thought.

who are we kidding? no one can compare to his jew. back to the mopey.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

ain't no sunshine when she's gone...this house just ain't a home anytime she goes away...

mr. miserable update:

it's been 5 whole days since he's seen his jew. he is, not shockingly, miserable and pathetic. he's giving the ruskie and i a complex because, even together, we can't measure up.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

what were we doing wrong?

either we were defective or our sand was defective, cause if a whole state can protect itself from water crashing down on them with sand...why couldn't we?

speaking of which...people keep offering to buy the sand. but then they don't know how they're going to pack it up & haul it away. sigh.

maybe our sand will have a better life in the land of soy & corn.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

defacto third and fourth roommates.

defacto third roommate (aka KoJew) and defacto 4th roommate (aka slick)?

you rock. you know why. much appreciated.

Friday, June 13, 2008

packing party

the jew is packing for israel right now. well, she was packing. right now she's standing in the living room. in a skirt. twirling.the ruskie is rightfully appalled.

and just for good measure:

with a look like this, how could an israeli soldier boy refuse?

jew: "i hate you."

she really doesn't.

just remember, ruskie, i'm not the one trading you in for another bedroom ;)

in an effort to make tucker more respectable looking for the doggy social worker, we started making him wear his collar again. it's striped and multi-colored. the ruskie, of course, is not amused (or maybe she is, but with her you never know...):

ruskie: "i like your collar tucker...i'm not used to seeing you not looking like the stray dogs in know the ones you find in the metro station...then the old babushkas beat them with brooms."

and then 5 minutes later:
ruskie: "i actually did have to work today....[explains what she did]...and then i killed a few polar bears."

oh, ruskie, as much as the jew wants your bedroom for all her crap, i'm pretty sure we're really going to miss you when you move out.

i wonder how much it'd cost to check that luggage...

the jew is leaving for israel tomorrow for 10 days. well, she's actually leaving for new york tomorrow since you're not really supposed to travel on saturday's if you're a jew (attending baseball games, however, seems to be okay). as such, i'm put in the weird position of having to explain to the dog that his jew is leaving him for 10 days and may not come back if she finds a hot israeli soldier boy. on one hand, if that does happen, yay for the jew (especially if hot israeli soldier boy as a hot israeli gay sister--or not gay, doesn't really stop me.). but on the other hand, i don't want to have to listen to tucker cry for the rest of his life over his long lost jew. the dog is so emo that i feel that if he really could, he'd play an acoustic guitar and sing about...well, whatever emo kids sing about. 10 days without her in the house is going to be bad enough, i can't imagine if she weren't to come home.

so you better come home, jew. you hear that? bring the israeli soldier boy (and his hot sister) back with you in your suitcase if necessary. cause whatever happens, you better be back here in one piece in a timely fashion (especially for july rent). :)

and if you don't come home? i will come over there and drag you back myself.

you know i would.

(this is my way of saying be safe and i'll miss you.)

a pain in my ass down to the bitter end...

the pool has officially exited the premises. but, of course, not without some sort of issue.

i agreed to meet the nice suckers that bought the damn thing halfway between where they were going to be and where we live which translated to about 10 miles from our house. i get there and they aren't there. the guy calls and explains the traffic situation and i totally understand because the dc metro area sucks. i wait 30 minutes and they arrive. as i'm explaining what everything is and does i realize that i totally forgot to bring the air filter/water pump thing. i agree to meet them on a later date when they're in the area again, but homeboy (who was so very nice, actually) says him and his chitlins (his words) don't mind waiting while i run home and get it. which i do. so 40 miles of round trips later (or $6 worth of gas) the damn thing is out of my hands.

the best part? homeboy was wearing his full army fatigues and i was in bdu's and a SWAT shirt. we were parked in the back of a 7-11 and moved a very large heavy, body shaped something rolled inside a tarp from one vehicle to another. AND NO ONE SEEMED TO NOTICE.

probably because we were white and driving fords.

(goodbye cruel pool)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Ha! sure fooled them!


we wanted to let you know that you are approved. Please let us know those [dogs] you are interested in meeting and we will start scheduling."

and that's where i stopped reading. i'm sure the jew finished all the legal mumbo jumbo part but i stopped after the first line. yay us! poor dog doesn't have a chance of being normal now.... ;)

all the rage.

my friend made this for her jew (cause everyone has one nowadays):

i'm not inclined to make little icons for people, but i hope the jew knows that if i was inclined she would have one and it would be way better (what she'd do with it is anyones guess).

my friend and i are now in an argument over whose jew is better. hers or mine. much like the "how many licks" question (of tootsie pop fame, pervs.) the world may never know.

i leave 'em alone for a few minutes....

This Could Only Happen at 23:00...

So seeing as I am down to 2 days before I depart this fine country for Israel, I decided I should do laundry... I don't own a lot of clothes so I thought I should probably wash them. After successfully doing my first load, I popped in the second, smaller load. 25 minutes later, I went in to check on the dryer and alas, found approximately 1.5 inches of water filling our laundry room floor. Instead of immediately stopping the washer, I first ensured I had back up in the form of the Ruskie. She just stared at the water in disbelief, the look usually reserved for, how the hell does this happen, as I began to broom the water outside (I didn't know what else to do). Alas, 20 minutes later, very little water was left thanks to my kick ass car dryer cloth. Photos to come because thankfully the Ruskie had her camera handy... although this potentially could have been a great test for my new waterproof camera case.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

take that james dobson...focus on our mother fucking "family".

so the jew is adopting a dog. which somehow, of course, translates into we are adopting a dog. because we can't do anything separately. so in order to adopt the dog we have to not only fill out an application, but have a home visit.

today was the home visit.

there's not much to say other than: it's a good thing we have separate bedrooms to show people that we, in fact, are not a couple. we somehow managed to sound more like a couple than ever (apparently we've decided without talking about it that we're living in this house together for as long as we possibly can) and we are left wondering what this lady must have thought of us (we just want her to say yes, the jew... can have a dog).

seriously people. me, the jew, and tucker should be the poster children for the nuclear family.

fucking eh.

big bad scary storm.

last night a mini-monster storm rolled through the greater dc area. we were not home when it began, and as such tucker had to fend for himself. apparently he heard that sometimes the bathtub/bathroom is the safest place to be in some serious storm situations. which is where we found him upon our return home. so funny. so cute.

so ridiculous.

pool exits stage left

the pool has been sold. some, nice family, in winchester has decided to buy it from us. why they'd trek way out here to pay more than they could buy it for in a store in a box, i haven't a clue. nor do i care at this point.

the bad news is that they are not taking the sand. any of it!

the sand castle contest is looking like a possibility. 1st price will be 1300lbs of sand!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

shiny happy toys make shiny happy gypsies and jews.

the jew and i went on a field trip today. the arlington county local emergency planning committee had a meeting tonight. we joined. why? not because we were immensely interested (which we ended up being later on), but because they were taking a tour of the shiny new emergency communications center that arlington just unveiled. yes, we know, we're a little lame. but it was so shiny and so worth sitting through the babbling of middle aged women in order to see it.

first off, the jew and i wore the exact same thing. it wasn't planned. it just happens every now and then. we show up 20 minutes late, but whatev. because 40 minutes after our arrival we were in the shiny happy communications center! and it was good.

my people were there (the boys with the guns). the jews people were there (the boys with the hoses). we were like little kids in a candy store. except this was better than a candy store. we never wanted to leave.

no one else seemed to realize how pretty and shiny and happy it was except for the jew and i. eventually everyone else stopped listening but the jew & i were on our best behavior and got the full tour. i always joke that it's a good thing the jew & i did not go to school together because we would have gotten in a lot of trouble the pair of us. but turns out, when properly stimulated, we can be very focused and appropriate.

yay us! and yay for pretty shiny happy communications centers.

we've also decided that: 1) we are quite the pair (we even walk in sync). B) we operate as a unit which is mostly a good thing at times, but can be intimidating probably & 3) we're like lucy and ethel (i get to be lucy. apparently ethel is more level headed. but remember, lucy always got ethel to do what she wanted her to do, so watch out jew ;) ).

now we're at home (because they made us leave the pretty shiny happy place) and we're on the couch (of course), hiding from the storm (more tucker than the jew & me), watching NCIS (big surprise) and eating cheez-its (is there anything else?).

life? it is good. to the rescue?

do you think anyone will take it?

conversations regarding the selling of the pool:

alex, my hot straight cuban boy, says:
alex: "you're such a sale-sbian."
me: "yeah, that's me."

the prospective future gf says:
the prospect:"say it ain't so. has lady j finally met her match? the big bad hero bested by an inflatable pool?"
me: "sad to say, but i fear so."

the ruskie says:
me: "i guess i should have put that we have 65% of a ton, not TONS of sand."
ruskie: "vital info...i still say we should put it in the front yard."
me: "while i know we live in virginia, i don't want to be those people in the front yard in their bathing suits."
ruskie: "who said anything about bathing suits?"
me: "that'd be quite the blog entry." (i will gladly be the one behind the lens on this one--what? i gotta let the lesbian in me have some fun ;) )

the kid says:
the kid: "how much of its history did you post? does it come with the sand?"
me: "sand is included."
the kid: "i hope they have a very flat yard."

KoJew says:
kojew: "too bad the pool is going bye-bye :("

i agree kojew, i agree.

among the missing, my resistance and something that once resembled my dignity...

i give up. i was of the general mindset of "break it down to build it up" when it came to the pool yesterday. however, having again seen the plight of our yard in the harsh light of day, i give up.

Cuiusvis hominis est errare; nullius nisi insipientis in errore perseverare

Monday, June 9, 2008

well when you put it like that...

(12:49:25 PM):
i'm working on the pool again...i just need to figure it out before wed when the adoption lady comes
ruskie (12:50:04 PM): hide it in the crawlspace?
gypsy(12:52:18 PM): if i store the pool we need to think about what we want to do with the 900lbs of sand we now have in the yard
ruskie(12:52:57 PM): 900lbs????
gypsy(12:53:53 PM): yeah something like that
gypsy (12:54:13 PM): it's um, actually 1350 lbs
gypsy(12:54:19 PM): 50lbs x 27 bags
ruskie (12:54:41 PM): jesus effing christ
gypsy (12:57:16 PM): yeah exactly.
gypsy (12:58:19 PM): its sounds so ridiculous when you think of it like that....
ruskie (12:59:28 PM): hahahhaa

stay tuned for the latest update on the pool (and for pics from this saturday's pool fiasco)

Sunday, June 8, 2008

the german fury enters the ring...

conversation with the german fury (aka: slick)*:

slick (texting for me): "so is this #3 girl?"
me: "um...let me, that's #4"
slick: "i see i was just another statistic."
me: "what do you mean?"
slick: "another in a long line of girls that fall for [the gypsy]"
me: "that's not true....they don't fall for me...well, maybe...but only until they actually meet me."
slick: "no, that's not true...::long contemplative pause::: it's once they meet [the jew] " :::big smile:::
me: "funny."

* slick was angry that she had never made it into our blog though others have. so there. you're here now, slick. happy? (i'm not enabling you beyond this, btw ;) )

Saturday, June 7, 2008

congratulations, aunt wauwa

the jew is officially an aunt two times over.

little baby something or another (no name yet) was born this morning 06/07/08. such a cool birthday.

congratulations aunt wauwa. :)

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

the gypsy, the Jew, a baseball game, & a rain delay or two...

2038 hrs: So the Jew and I are at a nationals/cards baseball game. We are sitting on the ground watching a kid throw a ball against a wall for the last 20 min or so. Why? Because the game is now beginning hour 2 of a rain delay.
(the jew worried about whether the game will ever start--hour 1) --->

We've exhausted all things to talk about (its very hard to have conversations when the other person has already thought what you were about to say). We did a bit of people watching and mocked accordingly.

<--(douche bag Screech looking dude that thought it a grand idea to wear his visor upside down)

and now we've gone on to live blogging. But since the Jew isn't creative it's me blogging and her looking over my shoulder. Even with nothing to do I feel that this will be one of my favorite baseball game experiences out of all the games I've gone to
throughout my life...or at least it will make the top 2* ;)

2110: this lady started going through the trash for no reason (or seemingly). she deserves a blog entry all to herself, but alas i'm too lazy to do it.

(turns out she had lost her credit card in the trash. she later came back and announced that she "has a fetish for trash cans")

2139 hrs. We've eaten ice cream and walked the entire 1st level of the park 2 full times (this way we could justify the eating of the ice cream...). Still no pitches no players no stop in the rain.

<--(somehow their grounds crew has managed to figure out a way to lay a big sheet of plastic and fill it with water... now, if only we could figure it out.)

this is apparently the place to be for people who do not understand personal boundaries...while the jew was in the restroom this random man practically stepped on me to read the wall behind my head. i suppose that's what i get for sitting on the floor. however, the man that just popped the jew's personal bubble with his belly/crotch and accosted her head while she was sitting in an actual bleacher chair? no excuse, buddy, no excuse. (he's lucky i didn't take him down).

<--(guy that trampled me) (guy that almost rubbed his big man belly on the jew's head)-->

2150 the game has now been postponed until tomorrow afternoon during a time we can't make it to. and now we're heading home...

2220 hours: we turn down our block and this is what we see:

("i thought we left the crime scenes back in columbia heights...")--->

wtf? so of course after we turn around and drive down the wrong way on our one way street we go investigating. turns out, downed power line. but the geniuses from the arlington county department of something or another can't seem to understand that the police line tape is for the PERIMETER of the issue. my tax dollars at work people.

so...3 hours of sitting around in the rain, eating ice cream, making fun of people, exploring a "crime scene",and doing it all with my jew? quite an enjoyable evening. for reals. see? the jew agrees:
(she's just upset because i won't take a picture with her...oh, and i told her we could play "gay or midwestern?" with this photo...)

* this is only my second game i've ever gone to. the other one was last night, also a rain delay night. also quite enjoyable.

Monday, June 2, 2008

ah, she beat me to it.

since the jew, surprisingly, beat me to the post over the latest IM conversation, i will just add the follow up brilliant idea by yours truly:

gypsy(1:52:28 PM): instead of a russian orphan that i can train, i can get a mail order bride.
gypsy(1:52:31 PM): if that helps.
gypsy(1:53:37 PM): oooooh, i can get a mexian/spanish speaking mail order bride...and then i can ask "donde esta mi pantalones?" and when she tells me where they are, all i'll need to learn is the word for "iron"
gypsy(1:53:50 PM): and i'll point.
jew (1:57:46 PM): omg
gypsy (1:59:19 PM): what? it sounds like a good idea....

and then i told the ruskie my plan:
gypsy (1:54:44 PM): so i've decided that when you move out i'm replacing you with a spanish speaking mail order bride.
gyspy(1:54:47 PM): ask [the jew].
gypsy (1:54:49 PM): she'll explain.
ruskie (1:56:07 PM): wtf?
ruskie(1:56:17 PM): can you write a blog entry about that...


(donde esta mi pantalones is the only thing i know how to say in spanish, btw.)
Gypsy (13:53:02): instead of a russian orphan that i can train, i can get a mail order bride.
Gypsy (13:53:05): if that helps.
Gypsy (13:54:11): oooooh, i can get a mexian/spanish speaking mail order bride...and then i can ask "donde esta mi pantalones?" and when she tells me where they are, all i'll need to learn is the word for "iron"

umm.... yea.
Gypsy (13:49:40): i really wish [Tucker] was capable of ironing my uniform for me.
Jew (13:49:44): lol
Gypsy (13:49:49): why can't you teach him that instead of sitting and what not
Gypsy (13:50:00): the new puppy better learn how to iron.
Gypsy (13:50:02): :)
(13:50:15): otherwise i'm trading it in for a russian oprhan.