i wonder if i can get her parents to send me money over the phone...;)

kojew and i hit the monuments this am while the jew slept her little heart away. at one point we were talking about how i am known to bake massive amounts of cookies . i explained to kojew that i no longer bake as much as i used to since the ruskie isn't around to give me sad eyes and say "um, are there any cookies?"

kojew starts laughing.

kojew: "it's uncanny how much you can sound like [the ruskie]."
gypsy: "it's only cause we're both from california..."
kojew: "it's still uncanny."
gypsy: "well, it's also easy cause i hate people as much as she does."
kojew: "funny."

but it's true...i do do a wicked ruskie impersonation. surf board, pipelines, and communism not included.

(the jew, however, does a much better impersonation of sitting in the corner at the kitchen table)

mr. clean would be proud. or something.

it's 2001 hours on a friday night. kojew is visiting us this weekend. her bus should be arriving shortly. as such, the jew & i are on a mad dash around the house to make it look like we on occasion do not live like frat boys on spring break. all the cups have been taken off the table (and placed in the dishwasher, no less!). bowls have been picked from their homes on the floor. empty yogurt containers with tucker teeth marks on the edges have been recycled. the jew is cleaning the toilet (she busted out nitrile, not latex, gloves for this task.)

we're now both sitting on the couch (which, looking at it, needs vaccuuming) typing away.

i hope kojew doesn't notice the 4 pairs of flip flops, 2 pairs of running shoes, 3 pairs of boots under the table.

and, really, everything should be okay as long as she doesn't enter either of our rooms. :)

in case of nuclear fallout, we're covered.

i came home from work today to find a big brown package sitting on the porch. it was addressed to the jew. like all the other packages of hers that i drag into the house, i dragged this one in as well (dragged? drug? i'm not sure). the jew was sleeping on the couch & i not-so-quietly plopped the thing on the table. after a few groggy moments she jumped up like a kid on christmas (not a jewish kid, but ya know, a christmas celebratin' one) and began to open the box.

jew: "you're going to laugh when you see what's in here."
gypsy: "buy one get one 1/2 off from drugstore.com?" (total inside joke that i'm too lazy to see if i mentioned on here & link back to)
jew: "haha. no."

she opened the box.

this is what it contained:


gypsy: "are we opening a day care?"
jew: ".....no."

yes, that's right, 80 fruit snacks. they are, apparently, fat free. and she, the jew, is apparently, addicted to them. (as i type this, she's moving the box to the counter, very gingerly & with much love, i must say.)

i'm thinking that should a case of Pop Tarts arrive ('smores flavor only, of course) i will be concerned that the jew is half way to packing up a bunch of notebooks & heading to a cabin in west virginia with a gun rack in the back of her civic. then, when she's gone all conspiracy nutted & is sending unlabeled packages across the country, i can look back and say it all started with 80 bags of 100% fruit juice chewiness....

he's whipped it, whipped it good...

so i came home this morning from work, walked in the door, and there was tucker with his tail between his legs. i thought maybe he was scared cause, ya know, he never mans up. i didn't think anything of it. i went to bed. an hour later i get woken up by a 64.4lb dog on my chest whimpering. i ask him what's wrong. he doesn't answer. i kinda patted him on his butt and told him to go to bed. the loudest girliest wussiest yelp ever came out of the little monster. egads! what the hell? after much yelping on his part i am able to ascertain that the pain is coming from his tail which is now bent all crooked like. i message the jew and she says he was all grumpy and in pain last night while i was at work too. hrmph. i say i think his tail is broken. i google. sure, enough, the examples of broken tails look just like the little monster dogs tail. amputation is the only option. bigger hrmph. i tell this to the jew. we decide to take him to the vet. he's spending the day there while they figure it all out. the jew & i are very concerned for our baby. after all, tucker does have two mommies.

in regards to us both being concerned & trying to manage the little guy, the jew had this to say:

jew: " besides, we haven't been super gay together in a while."

true. very very true.

---i'll update when we know more---

UPDATE!

the vet says that the little monster dogs tail is more than likely just badly sprained and not broken. he's on some medication to make the pain subside & thus by make his grumpy subside as well. if he doesn't get better by mid-week we'll re-evaluate the situation. the jew picked the tuck up from the vet and he (tucker, not the vet) peed on the floor. if that's not a perfectly healthy monster, i don't know what is. :)

an update for the ruskie...

nothing of noteworthiness or excitement is going on.

the jew is sick. i am sick.

we are eating plain pasta in the dark with no tv on in our pajamas at 1630 hours on a thursday. the dog is hiding because it's scary and storming outside.

so exciting is this household without our ruskie.

consider yourself officially updated ;)