and we wonder why they wonder...

today was softball day. the whole family came out to play. yes, we dragged the ruskie and the dog along with us to softball. at first the coach thought that the ruskie was my girlfriend:

LT: "ohhh...who's that?"
me: "oh, that's [the ruskie]"
LT: "oh, so she's your girlfriend..."
me: "um, no...she's my other straight roommate."
LT: "how do you live in that house with that much temptation?!"
me:::sigh:::
LT: "how are you still single?"
me: :::points at the jew:::
LT: "ohhhh."
me: "it scares people away."

but then, in the 2nd game i'm on second & the jews playing short stop. we're warming up at the beginning of an inning and first base grounds the ball to me. i bend over and have the most excruciating pain to my lower back:

(all of this is yelled across the infield, btw)
jew: "what's wrong? what'd you hurt? where's the pain?"
me: "right here in my lower back..."
jew: "hmmm."
me: "i think it's from the west nile..."
jew: "hmmm"
me: "actually, it's from sleeping on that damn futon."
jew: "oh god."
me: "because someone wouldn't let me sleep on the couch"
jew : "i didn't say you didn't have to sleep on the couch last night" (but she mumbled the first part and all that was heard was "you didn't have to sleep on the couch last night.")
me: "are we going to have this fight out here!?" (said in that tone of voice i reserve when i know we're towing that too close line but no one around us knows we're joking.)
jew: :::giving me the look that goes with the tone:::
first base: "not on the field ladies!"
me & the jew: :::sigh:::big grin at each other:::

just like tucker and the jew, people just don't understand our love. ;)

(sidenote: this is what i have to deal with people...i couldn't figure out how to end this blog, so i asked the jew:
jew: "lauren threw the ball after that and we played. the end."
me: "go in the other room, take your shower, and try to come back wittier, more imaginative, and creative."
jew: "like that could happen..."
me: "true.")