we could be gayer if we tried...or could we?

"i feel so domestic" the jew said through the kitchen window to me. she was on the deck bbq-ing and i was in the kitchen prepping.

"what?" the ruskie asked as she walked by with her laundry.

"we feel domestic." i responded.

the ruskie gave me that "whatever, dude...you two are way too close" look that she gives us. regularly.

now, this cooking/bbq-ing event extraordinaire (i had to google to figure out how to spell that...and even now i'm not sure) comes after the jew and i went to bed bath and beyond. which is by far the gayest place to be on a sunday afternoon (not even home depot can rival it). as soon as we walk in we both get that "oh my god, this is so gay of us" feeling/look. we've tried to make it seem like we're not a couple (we aren't, btw). but as soon as we walk in one of us inevitably says "do we need anything for the kitchen?" and the other says "no, i think we're good....but we do need _________." and inevitably there is one person (usually another gay, or an employee) that will overhear this conversation and give me that "awww, young love" look. and it will make me cringe in a way that i can't even explain.

(i just realized i'm slightly intoxicated...totally non-sequitor, i know. blame the rum)

so after the big gay outing to bb&b, we venture over to harris teeter for grocery shopping. we even managed to get 2 separate hand baskets. we went separate ways. gathered separate items. and converged in the meat aisle. at which point i asked "what do you want for dinner" and i got "i dunno, you're the one cooking." and so we stood there amongst all chicken, fish, pork, and beef the place had to offer and started discussing the pros/cons of our meat choices for the evening. i don't know if the jew noticed, but this old lady (overly tanned & perfumed) walked by and gave us that look. that look. the one that says "ugh, dykes." that's when i went to go get bread and left the jew to figure out the meat situation. of course we ended up with one shopping car and the hand baskets went the wayside.

so, the jew goes to stand in line while i go gather up a few errant items. when i return she says that someone came up behind her and hugged her (she knew who it was after the fact, btw). but for a very split second her though process was "that's not what the gypsy's wearing" as if i just decided, right there at the checkout line of harris teeter, register 5, that i was going to cross every boundary line set forth in the "living with a straight girl" rule book (i created it) and accost her in front of god and everybody.

whatever jew, not even i can be that gay with you :)