Sunday, March 30, 2008

this would be a witty title if i wasn't still drunk...

it's 1016 hrs. that's 10:16 am for those not militarily inclined. i'm still drunk from last night.

my kraut is in town. she's my roommate from when i lived in the land of corn and soy (no milk and honey here, people). she's just about the most fun you can have with someone with your clothes on.

i had a lot to drink last night. a lot.i haven't had more than 2 since the last time my kraut was in town in october. so after not eating much food yesterday,the alcohol hit me pretty hard. i drank a lot though, so i'm not going to consider myself a lightweight. i calculated it all out. granted it was drunk calculation, but i'm never good with math so i figured the alcohol wouldn't affect me too much with the addition. this amount of alcohol is not recommended for anyone. ever.

40 oz of blueberry stoli & lemonade
24 oz of bicardi gold rum and diet caramel cream pepsi
24 oz of malibu coconut rum and diet coke
32 oz of malibu coconut rum and sugar free red bull
16 oz of malibu coconut rum and cranberry juice

that amounts to, well, a lot of alcohol. i think over a gallon.

what's the jew/ruskie connection in all this you may ask (or not)?

the jew came and picked me up from my drinking location after she finished playing g-d again. at like 3am. gets me in the car. listens to me babble. a lot. stopped me from making more drunk dial calls than i wanted to. gets me home. and proceeds to sit on the couch, take my heart rate (which she scarily enough knows my normal resting one, btw) and subjects herself to this:

"jew?"
"hmmm?"
"insert incoherent can't remember what i said, probably embarrassing question?"
"uh-huh"

pause.

"jew?"
"hmmm?"
"insert another incoherent babbling embarrassing can't remember question?"
"uh-huh."

pause. wash. rinse. repeat.

for a very long time.

until, finally:

"jew?"
silence.
"blahblahblahblahblah drunk rambling to a sleeping (or possibly pretending to be asleep, or possibly NO LONGER EVEN ON THE COUCH jew" (possibly a very important thing i said here, btw,but probably not.)
silence.
"you're the best, jew. my favorite."

and then i passed out.


i've said it a few times before and over the course of my life i will say it again, i know (probably because it's the one truth i hold as a finite one): i have the best jew for my person in the whole wide world. she really is my favorite. not just for putting up with me like that, but for putting up with me ever. she's my favorite of all time.

hands down.

so thank you, jew. you deserve a medal.

(i'm amazed i spelled this all correctly without having to spell check anything. i'm also amazed i didn't lose my pants last night. i rock.)

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