I don't care what you say anymore this is my life...

i may have previously mentioned that my kraut is in town. she was pretty much my best friend in lafayette. she's very awesome and i wouldn't trade her for the world (not even for a signed picture of the gypsy). i was supposed to hang out with her tonight with some of her other friends that also came for this conference. we had planned to go bowling. i got showered and dressed and everything. prepared to go out. another one of my friends came to pick me up (best to carpool and all). but first i had to stop by the jew's office to give her some cookies (seriously).

so i go in and give the jew her cookies, and as we're apt to do, we talked for probably longer than was socially acceptable in terms of making the other friend sit in the car.
that probably turned into a definitely seeing as when i arrived to get back to the car the car was no longer there. neither was the friend. she had left me.

hrmph.

by this point the kraut had already text messaged me to tell me she was beyond drunk and that they were heading to another bar. the other friend finally texted me to say she in fact did leave me (really? hadn't noticed), but was willing to come get me again anyway.

after much debate i declined. sitting in the jew's office i made a very important decision that may or may not affect my relationship with the kraut (or any of my other friends that i had prior to dc). the person they wanted to join them for an impromptu bar crawl isn't the person that i am anymore. i don't know when i changed. why. how. no clue. but i have. maybe change isn't the right word. i've grown. not necessarily up, but in many facets that's the case. i just can't be who they want me to be. or, rather, who they expect me to be.

so, what kind of person am i? what has my life become? what did i give up hanging out with that crowd for?

sitting in the jew's office for 1.5 hours and then going grocery shopping.

yep. that's the person i've become. the person that goes to the grocery store at 11pm. gets excited that cereal is buy one get one free (fruit loops for me, corn pops for the jew) that doritos are buy one get one free (that's a me/ruskie thing). and comes home.

and i'm okay with that. i truly am. granted most days, with these people, i feel slightly ridiculous but mostly all right. and i never wish i was ,or it was, something else.

This is a good life. and it's not that I'm giving up my old life. my old friends. but that i'm taking what's laid out before me. and what i have now? well, you don't look a gift horse in the mouth.