it could be worse, you could be bleeding...oh, wait...

originally posted Nov 30th 2007, 0101 hrs

here's a run down of the last 15 hrs of my life. proof positive that someone somewhere needs to give me a fucking hug. katzif too. we can't hug each other though since it's too scandalous.

0800: call from katzif. not a good sign.

0845:return her call. no answer. not a good sign.

0900: get a return call from katzif regarding returned call to her regarding her car getting broken into in her ghetto. are we surprised? no. annoyed? yes. coffee needed? i head over (there are some perks to my overpriced building).

0950: MPD crime scene investigator (notice no a plural) come out with a
never-before-seen quickness (they must've heard katzif is really really patient....its her strongest quality) and immediately do a small horse and pony show for us revealing absolutely nothing "yep, broke a window....yep, stole your...drycleaning? really?" REALLY, PEOPLE, REALLY.

1015: a few errands preparing us to take her car to the dealership for the fixins' (the new glass, not some stuffing and turkey...i went back to indiana, what can i say?)

1130: done with the body shop, enter Allison for transportation back to my car/katzif's house. OH, DID I MENTION THE REASON IT TOOK 3 CARS TO TRANSPORT 2 PEOPLE IS BECAUSE KATZIF'S TOO GIMPY TO DRIVE RIGHT NOW. she can blame that on me, whatever. i can take it. and, no, Allison NEITHER OF US WANTS TO BORROW YOUR NAUGHTY ELF OUTFIT. or your naughty anything outfit. SERIOUSLY.

1140: inventory of katzif's clothes that i swear she's never actually paid attention to long enough to know what she really owns. duh, it was the gray sweater missing. no, i'm not scary for knowing this. I'M THE PO-LICE.

1237: TOMBS! oh sweet glorious bunker of nourishment. finally lunch. which is what we should have been doing at 1130. but whatever.

1352: we go our separate ways but not before making a scandal in healy circle by touching each other. ewww, cooties. gross. we'll be hearing about this one for awhile i'm sure.

1530: finally back home. haven't slept since i woke up at 5am wed. it's been a long day already....

1532: WTF? why are there maintenance men tearing up MY FUCKING BATHROOM. or really christina's bathroom but STILL. go away i want to sleep.

1715: woke up from the weirdest dream ever about katzif and the curse of knowing her (read: endless entertainment). BUT ALSO wake up to a bed/pillow/sweatshirt of blood. HOLY FUCK I DIED. no but seriously i wish. cause now i get to SPEND MY WHOLE FUCKING NIGHT AT THE KAISER URGENT CARE. not ER. ER are for people already 1 foot in the grave apparently. but, because katzif rocks, i don't have to spend the night alone she's going to entertain me. AND NOW SHE'S STUCK HAHAHAHAH.

1855: arrive at kaiser urgent care. blah blah blah hot doctor blah blah blah wait.

1910: poked and prodded and bled dry

1915: back to the waiting room where we get accosted by a little monster who was cute at first but quickly became not as much as the night progressed. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOUR CAR AND I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH.

2200: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WE'RE STILL HERE.

2215: I go to puke and have to say "Don't cause any problems, katzif" when i walk away. BECAUSE YOU KNOW SHE TOTALLY WOULD

2230: blahblahblah hot doc blahblahblah not going to do anything, but aren't you glad we came. not so much, but thanks!

2300: drop the katzif off after having to convince her and myself that i wasn't going to die tonight...i haven't yet but hey the night's still young~
oh, and the song playing on the radio when i dropped her off? It's a beautiful day by U2...IS IT? IS IT REALLY, BONO?

2315: home at last. to start it all over again tomorrow.

SERIOUSLY, SOMEBODY GIVE ME AND KATZIF A MEDAL AND A HUG. we deserve it. especially her because she hasn't had any sleep or food and she was stuck in a suit all day. OH AND SHE HAD TO PUT UP WITH ME SO SHE IS TOTALLY MADE OF WIN TODAY. or most days.